DEALING WITH FAILURE

It was the third term of my third year in secondary school, I was thirteen years old. The Nigerian school system requires all JSS3 students to write an external examination called ‘Junior Waec’, a prerequisite for your passage into the Senior Secondary category.

                Excitement was in the air as we gladly looked forward to becoming seniors, a category which comes with the perk of having your school uniforms changed into something more gorgeous and lovable. The D-day came and I did my best – well, I thought I did.

                The results were out and I rushed excitedly to check my performance only to realise I had the worst result in the history of my life. I failed everything except English language and Religious Studies. What happened? Did it matter what happened? Reality was that I failed woefully and my teacher Dad was not going to have any of that. No excuse or reason will suffice. None whatsoever was tenable. 

     I felt terrible. I should say that was the worst day of my life. Have you ever experienced heartbreak? That is exactly how I felt. Being too ashamed to give responses to ‘how was your exams?’, ‘hope you passed with flying colours?’, ‘I trust you not to disappoint’, and a host of other related statements from friends, family members and co-tenants. My tender heart was simply devastated.

                
I ran home that day and went straight to my room as I entered the house not stopping to acknowledge the presence of mum and my uncle who were busy discussing and laughing in the parlour. I lay on my bed for hours unending crying my soul out. I refused to be consoled by mum who tried to bribe me with food in a bid to cheer me up. The thoughts of disappointing Dad was killing.

                Well, that was me of yesteryears. I have grown up and gotten a lot wiser. I deal with disappointments and failures differently today. I’m not saying it’s easy but I’m saying you can do it. Let your failed attempt challenge you to do better. It should challenge you to strive for success. You are not perfect. Even fields of sweet scenting roses develops thorns. Does it stop the garden from producing roses? No! It doesn’t. Neither should you let a setback set you back. Make it the motivation you need to take giant strides.

                You will never conquer your fears if you do not dare them. Yes, there is pain and rejection if you are not a winner but the greatest failure is to never risk at all. I forged ahead with my studies and today I can boast of giant academic strides at a tender age not for accolades but to encourage someone that one or a series of disappointments CANNOT stop you from reaching the peak. Just don’t stop.

                When you fail, you never really fail. You learn. You draw a lesson from it. You find new ways to move forward, ways to work around future problems. “You needn’t be proficient to start, but you must start to be proficient.” I do not need to bore you with stories of great men and women who succeeded after several romances with failure. The bottom line is YOU CAN TOO.

                When faced with disappointment or failure;

• I cry it out to relieve myself;
• Take myself out on a nice treat;
• Critically examine the project again to identify my weaknesses;
• Learn all I can about it, research into it and get the necessary materials;
• I pray.
• Settle back on the task with a fresh zeal to succeed.

Above all, I keep a positive and optimistic spirit. Remember that positive thoughts attracts positive experiences. Think success and you’ll create success.

Have a successful weekend Lovelies. Never let yourself get consumed by self-pity. It kills the spirit.

@PENNITT