MY UP AND DOWN CHILDHOOD

You had a crazy childhood? I bet you'd think I had a milk-flowing 'pampery' one but nada. I feel growing up in Nigeria is laced with this uniqueness both negatively and positively. You can't compete with our definition of fun. It's an entirely different ball game.

♡ I played draft. You can't be a 90s kid who grew up in a ghetto and not know that game except you had a sad childhood.

♡ I played rubber band...set it up on my thumb and index finger and release it with force watching it go far and roll away. Do you remember come-back-to-me?
Weaving the bands into one long thread and hanging it on my neck with pride like a gold medal.
Throwing it to lap on the rubber band of another opponent in competition.

♡ Oh my dear Counter. How can I forget the creative way with which we utilised you. Asides kicking it over with my finger, I used it as tires to my dream paper cars.😂 Those cars we made of empty paper boxes and drove along where ever we went. Nuisance!

♡ I gambled a lot. Using 10 10 or 20 naira as baits. Often I was robbed clean of my snacks money😂. I was bad at these things. I'd always beg the winner to please refund my money as I was only joking.

♡ I played house. Gathering the stray kids around and playing the caring role of the imposing and talkative Nigerian mum (very typical) 😂.

♡ I was a teacher. I tutored whoever cared to enrol for my classes/lessons. School resumed same day and ended same day with reports cards adequately computed. Oh dear! I remember my small mobile blackboard given to me by my teacher father.😂I flogged the nonsense out of those kids.

♡ I played 'In Out, Out In, Enuguuu' 😂 please tell me you aren't lost. Tell me you can relate. This game helped us know all the states in Nigeria.

♡ I played 'Air Air, War Start, Firrrre'. Using my pawpaw branch with sticks as my dane gun shooting and killing innocent souls at random. You'll hear shrill cries of 'I killed you first, die die' coming from our cheerful throats.

♡ I entered the lagoon in my street in search of peakmilk labels and empty packs of sachet cowbell just so I could win some rolls of milk and fancy biros.😂

♡ I did roll some papers into the shape and size of a cigarette, lit fire to one end and smoke away in an euphoria of stupidity😂

♡ I cut the mouth of my rubber toy open just to feed the poor lifeless thing with my dad's Venus cream all in a failed attempt to share in the joys of motherhood.

♡ I'd carry some kids in my nursery school during break time on my back, pinching them to make them cry so I act like a mother trying to pacify a crying baby. Smh.

♡ In sheer foolishness I would run to the centre table in our house to pretend like I was sleeping once dad was back so he wouldn't know I was the gangleader in the play on-going in the compound. I'd 'idiotically' shut my eyelids so tight thinking that was an evidence of someone who had fallen into deep sleep for hours. How ignorant can one child be?😂

♡ I always looked forward to those moonlight tales irrespective of the fact that the stories were overly repeated and recycled that there was almost nothing to look forward to again.

♡ I was a clay(ndom) lover. No. Addict is the word.. I never bought it. Always clandestinely stole or scratched a piece from Eka Okon's shop. The day I was reported to dad, I died and resurrected from beatings. I'm still looking for that little girl that reported me.🔫

♡ We took turns to stay inside a wheelbarrow as my friends pushed and wheeled us like James Bond😂

♡ I drove tires

♡ Danced and played in the rain. I'd often jump into mum's big water pot outside whenever rain fell pretending to be in a swimming pool.

...my ink needs to be refilled. While I'm at it, tell me your version of childhood in Naija.

@PENNITT BY GLORIA EDEM.

A TALE OF TWO FRIENDS: JUST AN I'M SORRY

'You know what your problem is?' Stephanie queried her best friend Quincy rhetorically. 'You are too full of yourself, I'm afraid you might choke.'

'You cannot rule over me girl, we are friends but then I'm not your mate. Who do you think you are?' Quincy retorted angrily fuming and barking like a wounded dog.

It is such a funny life. The suddenness with which life takes swift turns and negotiates bends will continue to baffle me.

Just yesterday Stephanie and Quincy were awwing and goshing into the camera about their friendship of years. Friendship that had survived turbulent winds of problem, anger, disappointments, disagreements and several tugs of wars.

Who could have thought that these two best friends will be at cold war today, tearing at each other’s throat violently? A cold war gradually evolving into a battle of words cum world war 3. Uttering the most despicable words. How did they get there?

One word people, one word. Pride. Ever been in those kinds of relationships and friendships you feel is unending? The kind you can swear with your life is inseparable?

I have always been an advocate of dialogue. No matter the gravity of the situation at hand, I always look at the bright side believing if two sensible and mature adults put their pride away and settle down to a one on one colloquy, they will definitely get to a reasonable agreement. All grievances could be amicably sorted out.

Just what if pride blinds us to the fact that we did wrong? Would you earnestly apologise if you were sure you weren't wrong?

'Be the bigger person' they keep preaching.

Nothing in my opinion kills or terminates relationships like pride. Refusal to say you are sorry because you feel you did not err.

Case scenario; you did something or said something to a friend thinking in your mind it was on a lighter note but your friend on the other hand takes offense at your action or words, the courteous thing to do is apologise. You cannot detect how your actions affects another person. They alone can tell if they were hurt or not.

Friendship should be loving, caring, involving, and strong enough yet giving each party a wiggle room to express themselves and a right to their own feelings.

If you can’t be yourself in any friendship, it is time you re-evaluated.
Quincy and Stephanie were never the same again. No. this time no patching was gonna heal the duo. It was time to kiss goodbye.

@PENNITT

INKING WITHOUT LIMITS: YES TO PROGRESS

The most important resources one can garner for his/herself is what I call, ‘People Resources’. Having the right kind of people around you or creating/investing in the right kinds of relationships is indispensable as you journey towards achieving your goals in life, as you endeavour to harness your full potentials to its maximum capacity.

What makes them relevant? There are times you feel inadequate, times you feel incapable, times you feel less equipped or talented, and times you have doubts about your abilities. These friends will come in handy as they will be a source of encouragement and serve as a backbone to you. They will show you the good in you which you may not have recognised. I’m grateful to God and such friends for encouraging and supporting my business. Mfonobong, Leroi, Mr. Nsikan, Harley.

Some weeks ago I was contemplating setting up my writing and editorial platform, I had doubts, I had hesitations. I had doubts. But as I type, PENNITT just completed her first official work for a client; editing a motivational book that will be published by the end of the month. PENNITT will officially be documented on a printed book. I feel really elated and excited at this giant stride. Three more books are on my desks pending publication. Awesome.

I’m using this medium to encourage you to start something. As of weeks ago I was sulking, but I decided to overcome my fears and it is paying off. Pursue that passion. Spend less time frolicking on social media. Invest that time in something productive. Hang out with the right crew. Give it your best shot. It truly pays. If it isn’t bringing knowledge, adding value or enriching your bank account, ignore it.

Thank you for all your support. For reading and commenting on my blog, for referrals and for your anticipated patronage. Ekemini of EKM Group, God will bless you dear. It’s been amazing working with you. I look forward to more.

Send in your writing and editing jobs, I’m still at your service.

@PENNIT

DEALING WITH FAILURE

It was the third term of my third year in secondary school, I was thirteen years old. The Nigerian school system requires all JSS3 students to write an external examination called ‘Junior Waec’, a prerequisite for your passage into the Senior Secondary category.

                Excitement was in the air as we gladly looked forward to becoming seniors, a category which comes with the perk of having your school uniforms changed into something more gorgeous and lovable. The D-day came and I did my best – well, I thought I did.

                The results were out and I rushed excitedly to check my performance only to realise I had the worst result in the history of my life. I failed everything except English language and Religious Studies. What happened? Did it matter what happened? Reality was that I failed woefully and my teacher Dad was not going to have any of that. No excuse or reason will suffice. None whatsoever was tenable. 

     I felt terrible. I should say that was the worst day of my life. Have you ever experienced heartbreak? That is exactly how I felt. Being too ashamed to give responses to ‘how was your exams?’, ‘hope you passed with flying colours?’, ‘I trust you not to disappoint’, and a host of other related statements from friends, family members and co-tenants. My tender heart was simply devastated.

                
I ran home that day and went straight to my room as I entered the house not stopping to acknowledge the presence of mum and my uncle who were busy discussing and laughing in the parlour. I lay on my bed for hours unending crying my soul out. I refused to be consoled by mum who tried to bribe me with food in a bid to cheer me up. The thoughts of disappointing Dad was killing.

                Well, that was me of yesteryears. I have grown up and gotten a lot wiser. I deal with disappointments and failures differently today. I’m not saying it’s easy but I’m saying you can do it. Let your failed attempt challenge you to do better. It should challenge you to strive for success. You are not perfect. Even fields of sweet scenting roses develops thorns. Does it stop the garden from producing roses? No! It doesn’t. Neither should you let a setback set you back. Make it the motivation you need to take giant strides.

                You will never conquer your fears if you do not dare them. Yes, there is pain and rejection if you are not a winner but the greatest failure is to never risk at all. I forged ahead with my studies and today I can boast of giant academic strides at a tender age not for accolades but to encourage someone that one or a series of disappointments CANNOT stop you from reaching the peak. Just don’t stop.

                When you fail, you never really fail. You learn. You draw a lesson from it. You find new ways to move forward, ways to work around future problems. “You needn’t be proficient to start, but you must start to be proficient.” I do not need to bore you with stories of great men and women who succeeded after several romances with failure. The bottom line is YOU CAN TOO.

                When faced with disappointment or failure;

• I cry it out to relieve myself;
• Take myself out on a nice treat;
• Critically examine the project again to identify my weaknesses;
• Learn all I can about it, research into it and get the necessary materials;
• I pray.
• Settle back on the task with a fresh zeal to succeed.

Above all, I keep a positive and optimistic spirit. Remember that positive thoughts attracts positive experiences. Think success and you’ll create success.

Have a successful weekend Lovelies. Never let yourself get consumed by self-pity. It kills the spirit.

@PENNITT