MY FIRST FLIGHT: A FUNKY MEMORY

          As a young girl I had always looked forward to when I would board my first flight, when I would finally sit back with my belt strapped on and my eyes shut taking in the full glory of the moment. My youthful and adventurous mind cared nothing about the several stories that filtered through news channels both local and international about flight horrors being encountered occasionally nor the plane crashes here and there. Even the disappearance of the Malaysian Boeing 370 into the supposed Bermuda triangle or the Dana crash didn’t in the least from/way deter my zest to using air transport.

          I visited Lagos from Calabar on a one week holiday although I arrived there via road transportation. I expected my first time on air transport to be a well-planned one with probably my village people coming to see me off amidst the singing and dancing from several cultural troupes. The ekpe of Calabar was to grace the occasion with ‘abiokpo’ pulling some little stunts here and there. Yes it was supposed to be a big and colourful occasion.

          The reverse was the case on that faithful day early last year. I got a call from dad that morning saying my attention was needed as a matter of life and death in Uyo. It was of utmost importance to me and my career that I arrived Uyo that day on or before 3pm.

          I was torn in-between thoughts of how to get myself home as Pops had no idea I just arrived Lagos on one of my numerous shenanigans/adventures.  Bingo! I had no other option but fly if I must beat the time limit I was given. I got across a friend who helped me book my flight online while I prepared and packed my luggage. Off I went to the airport.

          On arrival at the airport, I showed my pin, followed through the procedures, got a flight ticket and joined the queue looking all excited with my Edet-goes-to-Calabar box strapped firmly to my right hand. I had no idea my little sized box was classified as “hand luggage”. Silly petty ignorance. I turned the poor thing in alongside the huge boxes of fellow travellers to be tagged and loaded in the cart by the baggage handler. As I finished with booking procedures, I noticed and greeted a lovely elderly and glam-looking couple and they responded warmly.

P.S. this is a survival tactics I’ve learnt over the years. When in a strange land, I look around and attach myself to the nicest and coolest looking folks so I don’t get announced on NTA Obot Akara branch.

          The couple were so nice and took/treated me like a daughter. We got talking and I realised they just flew in from a vacation in New York. I helped the man with a little luggage he carried as we made our way up the escalator. Uhmm! That was my first time using that and I almost fell on my butt when I stepped on it as my feet were not properly placed on the segmented stairs. My flight mum giggled in supressed laughter as I struggled to regain my balance. I wore a straight face as though nothing happened. Those who know me know that “look.”

          At the waiting lounge, the voice of the white lady dolling out flight announcements sounded like hagithfubttwrjdbjrehjhhcxdhjhdhdsheierewrhhghgt to me. Nkoppo anything!

          We still had hours to burn until our flight time so my couple friends took me up for breakfast (steaming hot pap and akara) and a little window shopping. As madam was slightly distracted, the devil struck in a sexy tuxedo. ‘Sirdam’ clandestinely asked that I input my cell phone numbers into his phone so he could reach out to me afterwards. I was in awe as my jaw dropped in astonishment. I declined with my face coloured out of embarrassment while strolling away.

          Our time to board had come and we joined the shuttle buses that drove us to the plane. I located my seat and realised I was seated in-between  an old Yoruba mummy who didn’t understand English and an American actor Joseph Mawle who starred as Richard in Chimamanda’s ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’, Game of Thrones, etc. My ego-check did not allow me to ‘fams’ him. Lol. He helped fasten my belt and yea I was grateful “because the way I fiddled with the thing ehn.”

          We were offered some cheap snacks and coffee with ‘happy hour’ juice of which I said no to. As we took off, I felt my heart sank, I was nauseous and almost grabbed unto my seat for support irrespective of the tightly fastened belt. I felt normal after a few minutes and relaxed into the wonderful experience. We arrived Uyo in about 45 minutes and I embarrassingly waited for my hand luggage to slide down. My flight mummy asked, ‘is that all?’ I blushed and said ‘yes’ laughing out loud as I realised my folly (some of you should understand this sarcasm).

Their driver who was already awaiting them collected us and I enjoyed another free ride to my destination. We bade farewell as I alighted the car gratefully appreciating them for their help.

@PENNITT BY GLORIA EDEM.